The October People’s Choice goes to…..

CAST OF CHARACTERS

CONNIE, 60s, any ethnicity, a counter-culture, passionate, woman unafraid to fight for what she

believes in. She’s SAMANTHA’S long-time friend and neighbor.

SAMANTHA, 60s, any ethnicity, a rule following, more conventional HOA Board President and

CONNIE’S long-time friend and neighbor.

 

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CONNIE and SAMATHA are sitting down together over coffee in SAMANTHA’S condo.

 

SAMANTHA

Thanks for the cookies.

CONNIE

You’re so welcome.

SAMANTHA

You have such delicate penmanship. Even with icing. I’ve always been jealous of that.

CONNIE

You’ve never been jealous of me a day in your life.

SAMANTHA

That’s not true.

 

CONNIE

When have you been jealous of me?

SAMANTHA

When all our kids were young, back on Sherman Street, I was always jealous of the little signs you’d make for their birthdays. My handwriting is so terrible.

CONNIE

Did you like what I wrote on the cookies?

SAMANTHA

We’re on the same side here, Connie.

CONNIE

Did you like what I wrote?

SAMANTHA

Yes. And I agree “Masks Save Lives” and “The Virus is not a Hoax.” And I continue to marvel at how much vim and vitriol you can fit onto a sugar cookie.

CONNIE

Nice Scrabble words.

SAMANTHA

For what it’s worth, I donated to Biden. I voted for Hillary Clinton.

CONNIE

Let me get you a gold star. Oh wait. I’ll bet the HOA prohibits that.

SAMANTHA

You’re being ridiculous, Connie.

CONNIE

The HOA prohibits all means of self-expression and political dissent.

SAMANTHA

That’s not true. The HOA restricts residents from putting up signs of any kind that can be seen by other residents. Which I think is a good thing.

CONNIE

It’s censorship.

SAMANTHA

Do you want to come home to a window full of Trump signs? That would ruin my day.

CONNIE

The complex wide vote on masks is coming up and we need an exception to the sign policy. I wrote that amendment. I should’ve been allowed to vote last night.

SAMANTHA

Yes, you should’ve been allowed to vote at the meeting last night. But you pulled that little prank instead.

CONNIE

That wasn’t a prank. That was an act of political protest.

SAMANTHA

You left a pile of burning goat shit on Jack’s front step.

CONNIE

It was brilliant.

SAMANTHA

It was adolescent. Where does one even get goat shit?

CONNIE

Jack’s been using his business, which is directly across the street from our complex, to
push his anti-mask agenda. The amendment needs to pass because we need pro-mask
signs to counteract his bullshit.

SAMANTHA

I’m not the person you need to convince.

CONNIE

Convicted felons should be able to vote and so should I.

SAMANTHA

You’re lucky Jack didn’t press charges. You’re lucky you only got six months board
suspension.

CONNIE

Did the amendment pass?

SAMANTHA

I brought your protest cookies to the meeting last night. They were a big hit.

CONNIE

I envisioned them as conversation starters.

SAMANTHA

Tabitha couldn’t believe they were sugar-free. Sugar-free sugar cookies. What joy will
they take away from us next?

CONNIE

What did Jack think about the cookies?

SAMANTHA

I’m not taking the bait, Connie.

CONNIE

Tell me what happened with the vote.

SAMANTHA

You’ll have to wait till the minutes are released like everyone else.

CONNIE

You can’t be serious.

SAMANTHA

HOA policy.