The November People’s Choice goes to…….

Posted by on November 26, 2019

The people have spoken… The November People’s Choice Award goes to Melissa Keith for her short play, LOVE, PRAY, EAT, presented as a staged reading at Monday Night PlayGround on November 25th 2019, at Freight and Salvage. Congratulations, Melissa!

Courtesy of Ms Keith, we’re pleased to share the first two pages from the award-winning script. Enjoy!

Love, Pray, Eat
by
Melissa Keith

CAST
WANDA: A female praying mantis, many of her friends have already had eggs, but she really values all parts of the reproductive process, good friends with JACKIE, has a very larger-than-life, confident presence

JACKIE: A female praying mantis, many of her friends have already had eggs – although that’s not necessarily her primary concern, has a new relationship with LARRY she’s not quite sure of

DUDE 1*: a male praying mantis at the bar, young and conventionally attractive

DUDE 2*: a male praying mantis at the bar, young maybe a little hipster-y or nerdy, different looking than DUDE 1

LARRY *: A big, plump bumble bee. Klutzy, but full of joy, always looking for pollen *DUDE 1, DUDE 2 and LARRY should all be played by the same actor

Two praying mantis ladies, WANDA and JACKIE, are at a bar chatting, they’ve been out for a while. Their table is full of empty glasses and empty food baskets. JACKIE is polishing off one of the remaining baskets

WANDA

It just pisses me off that she won’t even try to come out anymore, you know?

JACKIE

I know.

WANDA

We always said the three of us were gonna be friends forever. We weren’t gonna let anything stop us from getting together – like jobs or babies or lizards, but then POOF as soon as she has a bunch of eggs she just up and disappears.

JACKIE

I mean, yeah, it sucks she’s not making much of an effort-

WANDA

ZERO effort-

JACKIE

But like – it has to be hard right? Now that they’re a vulnerable cluster of eggs she has to protect them from like predators, and realistically is probably close to death after fulfilling her biological imperative. That’s gotta be exhausting.

WANDA

Yeah yeah yeah. You know what else is exhausting? Looking this fine.

JACKIE

Haha full time job right there.

WANDA

Someone’s gotta do it (they high-five with their whole front legs) Oh hey hey hey! How was that date last week-

JACKIE

Oh. My date? We don’t really need to talk-

(Dude enters)

WANDA

Whoa hold that thought, do you see the thorax on that dude? Check it out. Cronch level 4.

(JACKIE and WANDA move their heads left and right to make best use of their compound eyes)

JACKIE

Yeah not bad.

WANDA

You kidding me? I’d like to eat that thorax with a side of salsa. I could put my whole mouth around that cronchy head and just tear it off and cronch cronch cronch cronch! (to DUDE) Hey! Hey you!

DUDE

Me?

WANDA

Yeah you, with that entrée for a head. Anybody ever tell you your head would look better chewed up and in my stomach?

DUDE

Wow. Okay. I’m going now.

WANDA

Awwwcome on, turn around and let me get a pick at that abdomen, maybe give it a little shake!

DUDE

Gross, you’re disgusting.

WANDA

Hey! You don’t want this, wear a hat, you slut! (to JACKIE) He wanted it. Sorry, where were we?

JACKIE

We can talk about something else-

WANDA

Oh yeah! Your date! What did his insides taste like? Did they splorgle out?

JACKIE

I’m sorry – splorgle?

WANDA

You know what I mean, like a juice volcano.

(WANDA demonstrates with her hands. JACKIE sighs)

WANDA

C’mooooon tell me. I need this right now – you see how my night has been.

WANDA

You know I’ll like it, shut up. (chanted) Tell me how he died! Tell me how he died! Did he scream! Did he scream!

——

Join us for the Next Monday Night PlayGround of the season on Monday, December16, at Berkeley Repertory Theatre and choose your own favorite. Click here for more info.