The October People’s Choice Award goes to…

The people have spoken… The October People’s Choice Award goes to Daniel Martinez Jr for his play, Certified Super Sleuth, presented as a staged reading at Monday Night PlayGround on October 20th live at the David Brower Center and simulcast via Vimeo Livestream. Congratulations, Daniel!

Courtesy of Daniel, we’re pleased to share the first two pages from the award-winning script. Enjoy!

Certified Super Sleuth
Written By Daniel Martinez Jr

SETTING
Present Day. Police interrogation room.

CHARACTERS
MARGE (50s-70s) – A nosy, self-appointed “watchdog” of her apartment building, Marge is convinced her true crime podcast obsession makes her a seasoned detective. Armed with a purse full of “evidence”, she spins wild theories about her queer neighbor while masking the grief of losing her only friend, Gerry. Both ridiculous and vulnerable, Marge is as desperate for connection as she is certain of her sleuthing skills.

NOTE: This play depicts poppers usage. Please note that the actor playing Marge will NOT inhale actual poppers. It will be faked with theater magic- the playwright has plenty of empty brown bottles, baby, don’t you WORRY! I just want everyone to know this will be done safely.

Lights up. The stage is bare save for an interrogation chair, a table, and, if possible, a spotlight shining directly above. The light begins to dim.

MARGE
(Off stage)
Waaaaaaait! Wait! Not yet!

In walks MARGE in pajamas and a jacket, carrying a large purse full of items. She looks like she rolled out of bed.

MARGE
Turn these back on. Come on. You’re not done. TRUST me.

The lights don’t come back up.

MARGE
The Marge is gonna cause a scene and you will not like when The Marge causes a scene.

The light comes back up. Marge plops her purse on the table.

MARGE
That’s more like it. You guys have been barking up the wrong tree all along. How do I
know? Ohhh ho ho ho ho. See this?

Marge holds up her phone.

MARGE
Yeah. I’m a Certified Super Sleuth. ‘Kay? Over 5,000 hours of listening to podcasts like “Blood on the Welcome Mat”, “Crimes, Clues, & Casseroles”, and “The Final Footstep”. I’m basically FBI-adjacent. I mean, you don’t get to the top 0.05% of true crime podcast listeners without picking up some skills. ‘Kay? So, imagine my surprise when you so confidently declare that you’ve found Gerry’s killer and I learn that you’ve not called my neighbor, Skyler Blake, in for questioning. Yes. SKY-LER BLAKE. I never trusted him from the moment he moved in. I’ve lived in the building for decades. Live alone. I’ve seen all kinds of people come and go. But Skyler. Moved into the unit directly across from mine. Blessing for all who want The Marge’s protection, curse to anyone trying to pull one over on the ol’ Marge. I’m the building’s unofficial watch dog.

Marge BARKS.

MARGE
From the moment he moved in Skyler was all red flags. First thing I noticed? His huge, muscular arms and perfectly chiseled features. You think just any old Joe Schmo has muscular arms like that?? Or is that someone who’s used to moving bodies? It’s not just suspicion, either! I have evidence.

Marge proudly pats her purse.

MARGE
Evidence that will surely prove that you’ve got the wrong killer and you must arrest Skyler Blake. I visited our building’s dumpster after Gerry was found dead and sure enough, the evidence connecting Skyler to Gerry’s murder was EVERYWHERE. Now, as a Certified Super Sleuth I know you’re gonna ask how I know that this evidence is from Skyler’s apartment. My keen observational skills allowed me to witness that Skyler is the only person in the building who uses these.

Marge slams a box of trash bags on the table.

(To be continued)

Join us for the entire Monday Night PlayGround Season at Potrero Stage and David Brower Center. For more info, click here!