The November People’s Choice goes to…
The people have spoken… The November People’s Choice Award goes to Samuel Kelly Fair Levit for his short play, THE PILLOW GUY, presented as a staged reading at Monday Night PlayGround on November 16, on Zoom. Congratulations, Samuel!
Courtesy of Mr. Levit, we’re pleased to share the first two pages from the award-winning script. Enjoy!
The Pillow Guy
By Samuel Kelly Fair Levit
TARTARUS – A recruiter for the Underworld. An optimistic demon who is always on the
lookout for the darkest in humanity; experienced, but a little naïve.
ASPHODEL – TARTARUS’s business partner, also a recruiter for the Underworld. A pragmatic
demon who has been around the block a few times; just as experienced, but a little jaded.
THE MY PILLOW GUY – late fifties, white guy, entrepreneur, Christian, right-wing,
mustachioed American from Minnesota. He made his fortune inventing and selling the My
Pillow-pillow. Gained recent attention for advocating oleander—an untested “treatment” of
COVID-19—and speaking at the RNC. Bit of a blowhard, but stands firm in his convictions.
The drawing room of the MY PILLOW GUY’s mansion in Minnesota. The room is full of
pillows of all shapes and varieties.
ASPHODEL and TARTARUS, two demons from the blackest pit of Hell, look at the
pillows.
ASPHODEL: Lotta pillows, huh.
TARTARUS: His taste is…. unique.
ASPHODEL: Do you think it’s a sex thing?
TARTARUS: I think it’s an entrepreneur thing.
ASPHODEL: Mortals’ aren’t in touch with their sexualities, right? I bet it’s a sex thing.
TARTARUS: I’m sure his life-long obsession with pillows is just one of his many… genius eccentricities!
ASPHODEL: So it’s not not a sex thing, is what I’m hearing. What does the Devil see in this guy, anyway?
TARTARUS: Vision. Ingenuity. Midwestern charm! I think he might be our guy.
ASPHODEL: Was Herman Cain our guy?
TARTARUS: Too so.
ASPHODEL: What about Rudy Giuliani?
TARTARUS: We hadn’t seen the Borat tape yet!
ASPHODEL
Or Joel Osteen—
TARTARUS
You cannot blame me for thinking that Joel Osteen was the next servant of darkness—look at his
teeth!
ASPHODEL
You have a tendency to get over excited about mortals, that’s all I’m saying.
TARTARUS
This guy, he’s different, I can feel it. He’s the real deal.
(ASPHODEL holds up a My Pillow-pillow.)
ASPHODEL: The pillow guy?
TARTARUS: He’s a business man, an outsider! He’s… genuine.
(The door begins to shake open.)
TARTARUS: That’s him. Okay, get ready.
ASPHODEL: I’m ready!
(She’s still holding the pillow—she throws it off.)
ASPHODEL: I’m ready.
(The door creeks open—the MY PILLOW GUY walks in. Lightning! Bats! Creeping shadows!)
TARTARUS: Halt mortal, for you are being beckoned by the Dark One—
ASPHODEL: The inscrutable, unnamable sin of the world—
TARTARUS: His Most Foul—
ASPHODEL: His Most Traitorous—
TARTARUS: His Most Blackhearted graces you with his Vile Entreaties—
ASPHODEL: His Blight Imminence, Lucifer—
TARTARUS: Hades—
ASPHODEL: O-Yama—
ASPHODEL AND TARTARUS: THE DEVIL HIMSELF SUMMONS YOU… THE MY PILLOW GUY!!!!
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Join us for the next Monday Night PlayGround on Monday, December 14 on Zoom choose your own favorite! Click here for more info!